Croisette: 29°C, ☀ GloriousChampagne flowing: 14,204 L/hrYachts in port: 82 large / 14 megaLions awarded: 142Wristbands lost: 3,011LinkedIn humblebrags: 41,902Your absence: noted & mockedMagnums of Whispering Angel: depletedEspressos at $24: still ordered
Croisette: 29°C, ☀ GloriousChampagne flowing: 14,204 L/hrYachts in port: 82 large / 14 megaLions awarded: 142Wristbands lost: 3,011LinkedIn humblebrags: 41,902Your absence: noted & mockedMagnums of Whispering Angel: depletedEspressos at $24: still ordered

Section 07 · The Why

About

A love letter to Cannes Lions 2026, sprayed in neon.

David Berkowitz aggressively eating a baguette at Cannes in a previous year
Exhibit A: me eating a baguette at Cannes, a previous year. This year I'm a stalker from afar — refreshing LinkedIn from a different time zone, sprayer-in-chief from the cheap seats.

Spraycannes is a satirical, beach-bleached field guide to the world's loudest week in advertising. It's for the people on the Croisette, the people pretending they don't care, and the people (hi, me) refreshing LinkedIn at 11pm wondering if Marco from Ogilvy really got into Spotify Beach.

We're a project of The Hacked Network / Built with AI, the small empire of weird, useful, sometimes funny internet things from David Berkowitz (say hi on LinkedIn). We run Marketing Hacked, AI Hacked, and a bunch of other tabs you've forgotten you opened.

Cross-Spray

Spraycannes is satire. We love Cannes. We also love roasting it. Both can be true.